Ep 164: A Challenge Worth Taking

Let’s start this episode by getting a base line on how you’re doing today. 

Think about what you do when you first wake up every morning. 

Do you do similar things?  

Do you have a specific routine?  

Now. this isn’t a test. It doesn’t matter how you answer any of the questions.  If you don’t have a morning routine, it’s totally fine.  This is just to get a feeling of where you’re at.

Think through the things you usually do first thing in the morning. 

Is checking your phone one of the first things you do?

I’m sure that this isn’t the first time you’ve heard that checking your phone first thing in the morning isn’t good.

SO…Why do most of us keep doing it?

Did you know that the first hour of the day is the most productive time you can have in your entire day but ONLY if you make the sometimes-hard choice of how you’re going to spend it.  When you mess with the natural flow of how your body and brain work, you’re actually messing with how you will respond the rest of the day.

That puts a little more importance into the choices you make doesn’t it.

I think we need to dive in a little deeper so we understand why what we do first thing in the morning matters and then, we can work towards what to do next.

Let’s start by talking about Dopamine.

Dopamine is sometimes called the “feel good” neurotransmitter.  It’s associated with pleasure and reward.  There’s a lot more to what it does as well.

Dopamine is involved in our mood and decision making.

It’s released when your brain is expecting a reward.

When you get used to a certain activity, just anticipating it can release the dopamine in your body.

When you form a habit of how you’re getting dopamine, the brain reacts by toning down how much it sends so now you have to get more of what sets off the dopamine to get the same pleasure as before.

When you pick up your phone first thing in the morning you are:

  • Rewiring your brain
  • Training your brain to be distracted
  • Training yourself to respond and react
  • Comparing yourself to other’s lives. 

Facebook depression is a real thing that was created with the intention to give you dopamine hits.

Picking up your phone first thing in the morning affects Dopamine.

When Dopamine increases, it causes a cycle where you need more of that specific thing and a progressive reducing of the things that bring you pleasure. 

A good life is the expansion of the things that bring you pleasure…Pleasure that comes through motivation and hard work. 

Rewards are greater when they arrive.  Dopamine from looking at your phone, which comes from no effort, does not produce a good life, It creates saturated dopamine circuits. 

When you don’t scroll first thing in the morning, you’re opening up a space for a download of what your brain was working on during the night. 

That’s a lot of information to answer the question…

WHY shouldn’t you check your phone first thing in the morning?

There are 3 reasons why I wanted to break this habit.

  1. The reason that I wanted to talk about this on the podcast was because of how it affects our priorities.

When you open up your email, or look on any form of social media, you start your day with someone else’s priorities instead of your own

I don’t even need scientific data to back up that reason.

Priorities are a big part of what started me teaching online classes.

It’s very natural and normal to give up your own priorities when you’re raising kids.

It just happens as you get swallowed up in how much you love them and how much they need you.

Once you get back on your feet, you know, sleeping through the night, always feeding them or cleaning up or getting them where they need to go, it continues until they leave the nest.

Then, there is a whole shift to reconnect to the things that used to be your priorities. 

It feels pretty dramatic if you haven’t been connecting to YOU during all of that time.

It’s the first thing I had to do when I started working towards becoming myself again. 

Even if it wasn’t becoming a parent but another life event like becoming a full-time caregiver or a job, anything that takes all of your focus.  When we love and care for others, we tend to lose sight of the things that we want. 

Please don’t ever misunderstand me on this point, it’s not bad that we’re caring for others, I think it’s one of the main purposes of life in the first place, but we need to learn how to hold onto what we want IN THE MIDST of when we’re taking care of others.  Losing sight of what you are choosing as your priorities is what causes this disconnect.

When you look at your phone first thing in the morning, you are technically doing the same thing, you are starting your day with someone else’s priorities as your focus, instead of your own priorities.

You begin your day by letting other people’s opinions, requests, and advertising into your mind, which pollutes and changes your thinking.

Your thoughts, ideas, and focus are immediately hijacked by the new messages, emails, and notifications that you’ve received. In other words, your mind will be occupied with other people’s agenda — not your own.

Instead of starting your day proactively focusing on your own goals, you’re choosing to react to other people’s priorities.

Think about it; you wouldn’t let hundreds of people into your house as soon as you wake up (or anytime really), blasting their requests and opinions at you.

So why would you let them into your mind through a device?

Aside from your attention, your time is also being hijacked.

What starts out as checking social media for 5 minutes quickly turns into 15 minutes, which then turns into 30.

Before you know it, you have to rush to make it on time to work or skipping time you needed to get prepared for the day, and instead, starting your day hurried and stressed.

How many of you lose track of time when you’re on social media?

I know I do.

That’s the way the platforms are set up. 

They want you to stay. 

That’s why it’s set up as an endless scroll.

They don’t even put things up in an order anymore, there’s actually no way for you to catch up.

Let’s try to understand the sciency part of that:

– When you first wake up in the morning your brain switches from delta(or dreamless, slowest) waves, which occur in a deep sleep state, to theta(or relaxed) waves, which occur during a sort of daydreamy state. The brain then moves to produce alpha (or calm, relaxed) waves when you are awake but are relaxed and not processing much information.  Now, by grabbing your phone first thing and immediately diving into the online world, you force your brain to skip the theta and alpha wave stages and go straight from the delta stage to being wide awake and alert (also known as the beta (or focused, making decisions) state.

I found this information from: Jay Rai. Empowerment Psychologist publication.

You can check out my graphic I made to show these different states on my Instagram page or the cover for this episode..  It helps to see how all of these brain wave states line up.

In Scientific American, it was reported that “the ideation that can take place during the theta state is often free flow and occurs without censorship or guilt.” This makes theta state an ideal time to tap into your subconscious mind to visualize what you want and help your brain drive your actions forward toward achieving your vision.

We need this theta brainwave state… it helps the brain with learning, memory, and problem solving.

Can you see why I’m obsessed with journaling first thing in the morning during these slower brain waves periods, before I’m wide awake.  I am able to connect to what I want and decide my direction and actions for the day without any outside influence.  My brain is in a more relaxed state, and I can tap into more of who I really am and how I really feel about things.

  • It primes your mind for distraction.

Have you noticed that at all?  Once you start picking up your phone, the urge to continue looking at it gets stronger and stronger as you move through out what you do during the day.

According to Dr. Nikole Benders-Hadi, “The information overload that hits [you] before you’re fully awake interferes with your ability to prioritize tasks.”

Another hit for priorities!!!

In other words, throughout the day, you will get distracted much quicker and mess up your productivity by checking your smartphone first thing in the morning.

When checking social media or email, the brain releases a lot of dopamine — a neurochemical that makes you feel rewarded. It’s also releases you from feeling bad.

The brain craves dopamine like most of us crave candy, so it will stimulate the repetition of behaviors that led to the dopamine release in the first place.

As a habit forms, the brain responds by toning down the dopamine. Now you need more of the substance to get to that same pleasure level.

Overactivation also affects dopamine receptors in a way that makes you lose interest in other things. That can make you act more compulsively.  You become less and less able to resist using your phone.

When it becomes more of a need than a want, this is when it moves into an addiction. If you try to stop, you might go through physical and emotional symptoms of withdrawal.

 It can make you lose interest in other things.  We usually only think about this with drug and alcohol addictions but what if the things you’re giving your brain are affecting it in the same way, and giving you the same result as a drug addiction? 

You start doing things more compulsively (not thinking about it) and you have less ability to resist.  It moves from something you want to do to something you NEED to do.

In other words, when you start your day by mindlessly scrolling through email or social media, your brain will begin to stimulate you to repeat this same behavior throughout the day, because it knows it will quickly and easily feel good. Remember, one of the brains jobs is to preserve energy.  It wants you to take the easy way out so it can save energy.

When you train your brain in this way, you’re getting Dopamine from what everyone else wants instead of the things that used to make you feel good and inspired to take action.  This begins to take over for when you used to set yourself up for a win that YOU want instead of what

someone else wants you to do.

3.     Increases Stress and Anxiety

When you pick up your phone within the first hour of your day, you will start your day off in a way that is more likely to increase stress and leave you feeling overwhelmed.

Seeing or reading something negative first thing in the morning can trigger a stress response and puts you on edge for the rest of the day

We all know what the news is full of.  So, if you think that watching the news first thing is better than going to social media or email, think again.

Here are some of the major take-a-way’s from what we talked about today:

When you pick up your phone first thing in the morning it:

-Messes with normal dopamine release.

-Messes with your brain waves and the natural way they are meant to work

-Takes away your ability to prioritize, your attention and keeps you distracted

-Gives you more stress and anxiety

Here’s your HOMEWORK today:

–DON’T LOOK AT YOUR PHONE FOR ONE HOUR AFTER YOU WAKE UP this week.

Can you do it for 7 days until you listen to my next episode?

I bet you can if you decide that it’s something you want to try.

It’s always a choice!  Choose to take the next week and run this experiment with me.

Yes, I know that some of you listen to this podcast first thing in the morning and even though I am honored that you listen, I’m asking you to wait at least an hour before you do. 

Wake up and do something that takes you slowly through the brainwaves order. 

Exercise.  Journal.  Meditate.  Enjoy a slower morning, even if you have to wake up earlier to make it happen.

Come prepared to learn more next week.

Don’t let your brain tell you this isn’t important!  It’ wants you to stick with what’s easy and normal. If it fights you on this, respond to it by saying, “don’t get so upset.  It’s just for a week!”

I’d love it if you would send me an email at marla@hunkeedori.com and let me know what’s happening during that first hour of your day. 

How was it different?  How was the rest of your day different? 

Pay attention to your feelings. 

Did you feel anxious? 

Did you even think about your phone? 

Did you find yourself thinking and wondering what you’re missing?

Did it get easier as the week went on?

None of those feelings are wrong, just pay attention to them. 

I’d like you to take the opportunity to give yourself some love no matter what feelings come up.  Let yourself feel the feeling. 

-Take deep breaths.

-Give it a name.  What are you feeling?  Sit and feel it. 

-Think about it.  Why am I feeling this? 

-Remind yourself that you can handle it.

 If you stop and do these things, and repeat as often as necessary, your brain will stop sending those signals because it doesn’t feel threatened by the feeling anymore. 

Ep 164: A Challenge Worth Taking
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