Ep 138: Working Through Depression by Learning Optimism Part One

I have been learning so much about hope & optimism, as well as hopelessness, helplessness, and pessimism from the father of positive psychology, Martin Seligman, from reading his books. I would like to share some of my take away’s with you over the next few episodes. There’s way too much to include in one episode, so I’ve decided to make a series out of the information so we can take it in a little bit at a time. I hope you find it as useful as I have. I’ve already been able to apply it with the amazing people who are coming to me for coaching or just as advice to those closest to me.

I love learning.

And I especially love learning new things that connect to other things I’ve learned in the past and makes what I’ve been applying to improve my own life feel even more true.

So, here is Part One of the series I’m gonna call: Working Through Depression by Learning Optimism.

I love learning.

And I especially love learning new things that connect to other things I’ve learned in the past and makes what I’ve been applying to improve my own life feel even more true.

So, here is Part One of the series I’m gonna call: Working Through Depression by Learning Optimism

BODY:

From studies done that were looking at self-esteem as “vaccine” against all the social problems we are facing, there have been some really interesting findings.

Well, I find them very interesting, see if you agree.

While self-esteem is important, it was found that it is not the most important factor.

Because depression is a disorder of the “I”, in other words, how we view ourselves as failing in relation to the goals and dreams you have for yourself.

Because of this, when we feel we are the center of the universe, when we fail, which is bound to happen, that failure feels bigger and less forgivable than when we are a part of something bigger.

So, if building self-esteem is not the answer to curing depression, what else can we do?

There have been more studies done to look at this question.

Without going into tons of detail about the studies and how they were conducted, and the results they found, I’ll just share with you what Dr. Martin Seligman, who is thought of as the one who began the Positive Psychology movement, and many of his colleges learned by doing these studies.

They found that it was the change from pessimism to optimism that is at least partly responsible for the prevention of depression and its symptoms.

When I started learning about this I was sucked in!

This rang SO true in my heart and in my mind and in my soul.

I wanted to dive in and learn all that I could!

This new movement was called Learned Optimism.

We can learn to do this!

Those of us who suffer with depression, anxiety or any range of this type of thinking disorder, can learn to be more optimistic!

We are not stuck where we are!!!

Depression is more than mental suffering.

It is also about less productivity and worsened physical health.

We need skills that translate into action.

That is what I hope to do as I teach workshops with groups and work one-on-one with individuals.

I have seen that applying these skills in my own life has really taught me to be more optimistic.

I am changing my style of explaining life from pessimistic to optimistic.

And I want to share what I’ve learned with you.

Let’s start by defining Optimism, Pessimism, Explanatory Style and Learned Helplessness today, and I’ll go into further depth about each one of them in the other episodes of this series.

We need to start on common ground so as we build on what we’ve learned, we have a firm foundation of understanding.

You with me?

OK, let’s do it!

Let’s start with the biggest elephant in the room,

Optimism:

Optimists tend to believe that defeats are temporary and are only relative to one situation. They don’t view defeat as being their fault. They see that a circumstance, maybe bad luck, or someone else brought about the defeat. They see it as a challenge to try harder, but not as pointing the finger at someone else and saying it was their fault.

Optimism can protect you against depression. It can raise your level of achievement. It can enhance your physical well-being.

The central skill of optimism is changing the destructive things you say to yourself when you experience the setbacks that life gives to all of us.

Becoming an optimist is not about being more selfish and self-assertive or to present yourself to others in overbearing ways, but to simply learn a set of skills that help you talk to yourself from a more encouraging viewpoint when you encounter personal failures.

Optimists do better in school, work and on the playing field.

Their health is unusually good, they age well, and some evidence suggests that they may even live longer.

To me, the greatest example of this was my Grandpa. From my vantage point, he was an optimist. He always had a smile on his face and a little chuckle behind his words. He lived anything but an easy life. He graduated from High School in 1929 and if you know anything about history, that date will ding a bell as the crash of the Great Depression. He was raised by his father and stepmother because his own mom died when he was around 8 years old. He was taught to work hard and when I was little, I’d go stay with them for a week every summer and “help” on their farm. He whistled everywhere he went. I’d hold his hand as we walked down the road to go feed the pigs. I just loved being with him. He made me feel happy from the inside out. He was someone who never had money but didn’t let them hold him back. He was just someone who gave what he had and didn’t worry too much about it. To me, he was the healthiest, strongest person I knew. He lived to 92 and was rarely sick. An optimist in every way.

Let’s go to the opposite of optimism,

Pessimism:

Pessimists tend to believe bad events will last a long time, will undermine everything they do and most importantly, their own fault!

Depression is the ultimate expression of pessimism.

People with pessimistic habits of thinking can turn setbacks into disasters.

Pessimists give up more easily and get depressed more often.

Pessimism has a role too. It helps us to accurately look at reality.

This can make us wiser. It heightens our sense of reality and endows us with accuracy.

Here’s one of the coolest things I’ve learned about pessimism, it is escapable!

Pessimism can be reversed.

Pessimists can learn to be optimists by learning a new set of thinking skills.

My biggest take-a-way in all of this I’ve learned about pessimism and leads me to HOPE is that our habit of thinking does not have to stay with us forever.

Dr. Seligman said, “One of the most significant findings in psychology in the last twenty years is that individuals can choose the way they think!

I feel like I need to put in a disclaimer here.

Sometimes overcoming depression isn’t as simple as changing the way you think,

As someone who had been to the depths of depression and back, I know that medication is needed in some cases. Only you and your Dr. can decide what is needed for you.

After I received medical help and got my chemicals back in order and working correctly, I found that I was still in need of some more help.

That’s where learning about how you think comes in.

There is more help needed to help you move out of depression.

And this was the way I felt that I was finally able to get to where I felt I had my life back.

I’m urging you to open your mind.

Try something different and see if it’s what you’re missing too.

I’m here to hold your hand, teach and support you until you feel strong enough to go it on your own.

Maybe you’d like to work with me one-on-one. I’m here for you. Just schedule a free call and we’ll figure that out at hunkeedori.com/minimentor.

Maybe listening to these podcasts will give you exactly what you need. That makes me SO happy! I hope they do!!

Maybe taking one of my workshops or Courses will be what you need.

Whatever you need, I’m here to help however I can.

Alright, after that short commercial break, let get back into building our foundation so we can start learning the skills!

Next is:

Explanatory Style:

It is the manner in which you habitually explain to yourself why events happen.

It’s the way we explain what happens in our lives.

It’s how we explain to ourselves why we get or don’t get reinforcement for the things we do. It’s the way people explain to themselves the causes of bad events.

An optimistic explanatory style stops helplessness, whereas a pessimistic explanatory style spreads helplessness.

Your way of explaining events to yourself determines how helpless you can become, or how energized, when you experience everyday setbacks as well as big defeats.

And the last one for today,

Learned Helplessness:

Learned Helplessness is the giving-up reaction, the quitting response that follows from the belief that whatever you do doesn’t matter.

Your explanatory style is what moves you towards or away from helplessness.

Depression and helplessness are the same thing.

They have the same brain-chemical connection.

Helplessness can be learned and therefore, unlearned. ISN’T THAT THE BEST NEWS!!!

Have you been taught (either by yourself or others) to be helplessness, that nothing you do changes what happens?

Or did you learn to look for more optimistic reason for what happens?

I know that’s a lot of information.

It will be good to use this information so you can understand everything else I want to share on this topic, better.

Here’s what I suggest:

Spend some time this week looking at your thoughts.

Looking at your thoughts is called Metacognition.

Did you know you could do your own experiment with Metacognition?

You big scientist you!!

Look for the following this week:

What is your Explanatory Style?

Do you lean towards Optimism or Pessimism?

Have you learned helplessness?

You may need to go back and listen to those definitions again.

Here’s a challenge for you, do it without judging yourself.

Remember to be compassionate with yourself as you look at what you’ve been doing.

Just gather the information and look at them as interesting pieces of who you are, and lovingly accept them as what they are. Not good or bad, right or wrong, just using the information to learn and to understand yourself for who you are.

Then, bring that information back with you for the next episode in this series and we’ll use that information to learn more and what you can do next.

Ep 138: Working Through Depression by Learning Optimism Part One