Ep 137: Feeling Stuck?

Are you feeling stuck?

You know… that place where you feel like there is something else you want to be doing but you don’t know what it is?

Feeling stuck is uncomfortable.

Feeling stuck holds you bound to where you are.

Your inner self, that part of you that is not your body or you mind… feels stuck!

That’s where we’re going today.

I’ve got a few great suggestions for you to help you get unstuck!

Imagine a truck in the mud.

When it’s really stuck, the mud is halfway or more up the wheels.

They just spin and spin when they are that stuck.

Spinning the wheels, putting the gas on, gets you more stuck.

Can you picture that in your mind?

Does that picture match the way you feel inside?

Does it sound like, “No matter what I do, it doesn’t help me make any progress!”

And it won’t happen as long as you keep spinning in the thoughts!

Let’s try changing what’s going on behind the spinning.

Let’s try a new thought!

What gets that truck moving?

It could be:

Adding weight to the back.

Getting traction.

Attaching it to a stationary point.

Compare yourself to that truck.

How could you get unstuck?

Could it be:

A new Intention?

Finding a Purpose?

Could it actually be a new challenge in your life?

Being responsible for the energy that you bring into any situation?

Using your personal agency to make a different choice?

Recognize that you don’t have to be stuck!

You can do something about it!

Try asking yourself…

How do I want to feel?

Did you know that you get to decide?

Sometimes the answer may be that you want to stay right where you are.

Ok.  At least you’re being honest about it.


You don’t feel stuck if you’re happy with where you are.  That’s just true!

But maybe you don’t want to stay where you are.

You can choose what’s next.

How do you figure out where you want to go if you don’t know the answer and have too many choices?

May I suggest that you could begin by recognizing that your life is a system.

It is created of a series of action (which could also mean inaction) which creates an outcome.

You may not like the system you have created, but noticing what system you have created is an interesting place to start.

Draw it out if it helps.

Write down what you do everyday (that is your input) and what that creates (which is your output).

Interesting isn’t it!

An Action creates a Result.

And that’s the system you’ve created which is what makes up your life.

When you feel stuck, take a closer look at the system you have created.

When you have the same mindset, the same thoughts, the same behaviors and actions, you create the same results.

This is not rocket-science!

Our thoughts create our feelings, our feelings fuel the way we act, and the results stay the same if we do those same things over and over.

You begin to feel stuck if what you’re creating isn’t working for you anymore.

It may have worked for you in the past, but it isn’t working now.

It’s OK!  We’ve all been there.

Let’s just be honest and really look at the system you created and decide if you want to do anything different in any part of that system.

It’s only a problem to be doing the same thing over and over if you don’t like the results you have.

It’s not a problem if you like the results.

But what if you don’t?

Then something has to change in the system of your life.

You get to look at each part of that system and decide where you’d like to change it.

Albert Einstein said that “The definition of insanity is doing the same things, doing more and more of the same thing and expecting a different outcome.”

Nothing changes when nothing changes.

Obvious when you decide to look at it in this way.

Here’s the thing…

No one can do it for you.

You have to do it for yourself.

You have to change the input to change the output of your system.

And that’s good news.

You’re never really stuck!!

Changing the system of your life starts with recognizing that you want to change.

And all change begins with changing one thing.

When you try to jump from input to output in one grand step, it doesn’t work.

Think back to the truck stuck in the mud analogy.

Putting the gas petal all the way to the floor in one big push, only gets you stuck deeper and deeper and you feel like it’s useless to keep trying.

That’s not the way!

Let’s take a look at a basic model of change that actually works.

It starts with your intention, what your purpose is, or who do you want to become?

You will probably answer that with, “I don’t know!”

It’s what I hear from almost every client I work with.

Sometimes it takes a bit of digging.

Sometimes it takes a lot of digging.

Be prepared for it to take some time.

Or maybe it doesn’t have to.

Maybe you’re feeling so stuck because you know what you want, but you don’t know how to get there, or how to even get started.

Let’s start with that scenario.

I’ll come back to the “I don’t know what I want” scenario later.

Let’s fill in the chart of what you want to become.

I’ve got an empty chart to help you with this.  You can get it at  https://hunkeedori.com/Become

It will help you work your way through this.

If we start with what you want to become, or who you want to become, we can figure out the rest of this chart.

Once you’ve filled in the BECOMING block with what you want, a goal, a dream, what you’d like to have in your life, let’s move around to the right and fill in the THINKING block.

This is where your thoughts live.

It’s where you can take a look at what you are thinking and believing and decide if you want to keep them anymore.

What are some of your beliefs?

Where are you putting judgement on yourself or others?

What do you assume and what are you expecting?

Put some of those thoughts in there.

There are some other thoughts I’d like you to fill in here.

Ask yourself…

If I was to become what I want to become, what would I be thinking?

What thoughts would a person like that be thinking?

What would I be saying to myself if I had become that person?

Interesting to think that way isn’t it?

From that place, let’s move to the FEELING block.

Look at the first group of thoughts you wrote down.

How do those thoughts make you feel?

Now look at the second group…the thoughts that the person you want to become is thinking.

If you were thinking those thoughts, how would they make you feel?

Need a little help putting a word to your feelings?

I’ve got you!  I have a list of emotions that you can download so you can find the emotion word that closely describes how you are feeling.

You can get that list of emotion words at https://hunkeedori.com/emotions

Can you see where this is going?

If a person who thinks _____________, and feels _______________, what does that fuel her to do?

I hope this shows you the system you can recreate by choosing how you want to think, which creates feelings that fuels you to do something different.

Different thoughts, create new feelings, which create new action!

It works in the negative too but since we want to get UNSTUCK, we’re going to focus on the positive things we can choose to think and feel.

This is how you create a new system in your life.

It’s simple but it’s not necessarily easy.

We have to uncreate a pattern that we may have been living for a long time.

Self-Compassion is a great skill to use here.

I have an entire series about Self-Compassion on episodes 96-99 if you’d like some help becoming more compassionate with yourself as you’re trying to make these changes.  Episode 101 has some specific exercises you can do to practice.

I have a little secret to tell you about another way you can use this chart too.  You can start with what you want to think.  Choose a thought, see what that helps you to feel and what that fuels you to do?  What if you can’t come up with something you want to think??  How would you like to feel?  What would a person who feels like that think?  Now see what you’d like to do.

It’s magic.

I have lots of other ways that you can use this chart too.

Not only will it help you to get unstuck, it will help you deal with lots of the things you deal with in your life that feel out of your control.

I’d love to help you get unstuck or help you with whatever feels hard in your life.

This cycle of change can help you as you are working your way through depression too.

I have helped many women work through their depression using this change cycle and I can help you too.  Let’s get started.  Don’t put it off any longer.  It’s time for you to make the changes in your life that you are only hoping for right now.  Schedule a 15-minute Free session with me and we can get started making them happen!

I haven’t forgotten those of you who may be struggling and don’t know what they want to become.  You are not alone my friend!  This is where I started too.

Because I know how it feels to be unable to answer that question, I want to give you my secret (ok, not so secret) weapon to figuring it out.

I’m here to tell you that there IS someone who knows what that is.  This person hears your real thoughts and knows how you are feeling, even if you think you have kept them hidden really well.  You can’t hide from her.

This person is YOU and you can access her and all of the knowledge and wisdom that she has for you through journaling.

I’m not talking about “keeping a journal” while that is a great thing to do too.

I’m talking about a free flow of ideas and thoughts that come from your subconscious.

It’s getting all of the thoughts from your mind, out of the way, and onto a piece of paper so that you can access what you REALLY believe.

When you get good at this you can access that part of yourself that will teach you what’s next for you.

She’ll show up as a trusted friend and an advisor that will show you exactly what the next thing that you want to do because she knows you better than anyone else.

I’ve written out a list of journaling prompts to help you get started with this.

You can download the pdf and print it out if you’d like so you can put it in your journal to refer to if you need help knowing what to write about, to get your pen moving!

It will walk you through a bunch of prompts that can help you get started in this practice of journaling.

Most people I work with are very hesitant about starting to journal.

They have all kinds of excuses like:

I’m not a good writer.

I don’t like writing.

My penmanship isn’t good.

I don’t want to.

My thoughts are too jarbled up.

I don’t see how this could help.

But when they give it an actual chance, I haven’t had one person tell me it wasn’t worthwhile.

In fact, they start to crave it, just like I do.

They start to see how it gives them more peace in their life because they’re thoughts aren’t running the show anymore.

It’s called the “Quick Start to Journaling Guide” and you can download it at https://hunkeedori.com/quickstart

Starting a journaling practice was the most powerful and lifechanging thing I have ever done.

Whenever I feel stuck, I work it out in my journal.

It doesn’t always come the first time I sit down to write, but it does sometimes.

What I trust with all of my heart is that it will eventually come.

When I show up daily with my paper and pen, I know that my truest self will show me what to do next.

And that’s because as I write, I am examining my thoughts, I am allowing myself to feel my feelings and get it all out of my head.

Then, those thoughts and feeling show me what I want to do and who I want to become.

I get out of my head and allow my Spirit to remind me who I have always been.

I want that for you too. The next time you feel stuck, instead of letting it pull you down into a cycle that you don’t want to be in, try viewing it as an opportunity to become something new!

That feels pretty exciting to me!

Which by the way, is a feeling that fuels me to do something different!

You just gotta love this cycle of change!

Give it a try and let me know what it does for you.

Send me a message at marla@hunkeedori.com or come schedule a session with me on Zoom so I can see your cute face!

Ep 137: Feeling Stuck?
Tagged on: