Ep: 111 Changing Expectations

I’m sure you can relate.

You have ten things that you feel like you absolutely have to get done today.

You feel overwhelmed just looking at the list.

In your mind you know how each things needs to get to done.

You have to show up as your best for each thing.

But what if you didn’t?

What if you didn’t have to do everything at your absolute best?

What if you changed your expectations?

An expectation is:

a strong belief that something will happen or be the case in the future.

a belief that someone will or should achieve something.

Synonyms for Expectations, or other words that mean the same thing or similar are:

Prediction, projection, hope, expectancy, anticipation, confidence, assumption, belief, presumption, possibility, looking forward

Antonyms for an expectation, or words that mean the opposite are:

Disbelief, hopelessness, fact, impossibility, distrust, doubt, unlikelihood

Alright, Give me a break ok, I was an Elementary teacher in my previous life, so I have to throw in some grammar lessons here and there.

How are we going to apply this to our lives we live every day?

Where are some of the most important places to change our expectations so that we are more at peace and less burdened with the circumstances happening around us?

Let’s take a look at what changing our expectations in our relationships could look like:

What if we expected to be treated with kindness, love, affection, respect, and loyalty?

I think we also need to define what standards are when we’re talking about this.

Standards are guidelines about what you will accept in the present moment.

Compare that with the definition of expectations:

Standards are guidelines about what you will accept in the present moment And Expectations are what we want to have happen in the future.

There’s nothing wrong with raising your standards, and if someone doesn’t meet your standard, you’re allowed to move on.

Someone can meet your standards and still fall short of expectations.

When we presume what a relationship will look like, it shapes our contribution to the relationship.

Expectations are subjective.  Just like an opinion.

Everyone has one, but they don’t always match up with someone else’s thoughts.

You must be willing to create reasonable expectations, and not just assume they will happen.

I have a quick example of this that might not be exactly where your mind went when I started talking about expectations and standards, but it is a good one that will help you look at some of the areas of your life that you are making “too big” and are making your life feel overburdened.

I hope you’ll take this example and apply it to something in your life that you are placing too big of an expectation on and perhaps you’ll let it go.

Do you remember my guest, Stacy Julian from Episode #71?  It’s my most downloaded episode so far.  So if you haven’t listened to it yet, I’d highly suggest it.

In that episode we talked about storytelling and scrapbooking in particular.

In Stacy’s method of scrapbooking she teaches to:

-Let go of the expectation that your method of memory keeping is going to look like someone else’s.

-Let go of the expectation that you are going to document every single moment of your child’s life.

-Let go of the expectation that you are going to have every picture you take on a scrapbook page.

When I did this, changed my expectation about what I would scrapbook…everything in my life changed.

When I changed my expectations, my stress about what I was going to have time to do completely went away.

See… simple and non-life changing example, but, it did help me to let go of something that didn’t have to live up to a certain standard that I had set for myself based on what I saw other people doing.

Changing my expectation on myself in this area also gave me permission to change expectations in other areas of my life.

Where could you change an expectation that is creating a burden in your life that isn’t necessary?

Really give that some thought.

I would suggest that as a journaling prompt to sit down and write about in the next 24 hours.

Where could you change an expectation that you set for yourself, that is creating a burden in your life?

Write in your journal within the next 24 hours and show yourself that it just isn’t necessary.

You’re welcome in advance for the peace I know it will bring you when you let it go.

I have a mini workshop all about the way my memory keeping has evolved into something that I am able to keep up with without adding extra burden to my life.

I call it my Daily Memories Journal and I’d love to share my method with you.  You’ll have a year’s worth of memories recorded in less than 15 minutes a day.

Register at hunkeedori.com/DMJW


Thanks for joining me here today and remember:

I see you.  I understand how hard you’re trying, and I’d like to help however I can.

Have a wonderful day and I’ll see you back here next week.

Ep: 111 Changing Expectations