092:  Share a High Five with Someone You Love Book Club Review

When you give someone a high five, what are you trying to tell them?

When someone gives you a high five, how do YOU feel?

Google backed up how I answered those questions.

“ a gesture of congratulation, solidarity, or greeting in which one person slaps the upraised palm of the hand against that of another.”

I liked this next description even better!

“High Fives don’t just benefit the receiver of the High Five, they benefit the giver too! Sending a High Five is a way to express gratitude and research shows that people who express gratitude experience more positive emotions and well-being. In other words, it’s healthy to count your blessings.”

What if you started thinking about giving a high five as an activity you do with yourself.

Does that change how you feel about it?

If we go with the second description I shared with you and you thought about yourself as the giver AND the receiver, what changes?

I’ll read it to you again.

“High Fives don’t just benefit the receiver of the High Five, they benefit the giver too! Sending a High Five is a way to express gratitude and research shows that people who express gratitude experience more positive emotions and well-being. In other words, it’s healthy to count your blessings.”

When you give yourself a high five in the mirror first thing every morning, you are benefiting yourself TWICE!  You are expressing gratitude from you to you.  You are sharing a positive emotion with the person you should be most connected with.

In Mel Robbins book, “The High 5 Habit, she says:

“Your relationship with yourself is the foundation of every relationship you have in life.”

Another quote from the book that I love is:

“I wasn’t alone.  I had ME!”

Have you ever felt totally alone?

I sure have.

And now that I have chosen to take care of the relationship I have with myself, I never have to feel truly alone. 

This is the reason why I feel so strongly about self-connection.

It’s why I call myself a Self-Connection Coach!

I have come to realize that when I have truly connected with myself, learned to love me for who I am, not who I think others want me to be, then I show up for the ones I love even better. 

It’s true.

Think of the “Put the oxygen mask on yourself first” thing.  You know, when the flight attendant tells you that if the oxygen masks drop down, put one on yourself first, and then help those around you.

When you make sure that you have what you need, you have more to give others.

When you feel alone, you can remember that you will always be there for you.

One more quote from Mel Robbins in “The High 5 Habit”:

“When you can celebrate YOURSELF, it helps you cheer louder for others.”

Why so many quotes from this book? (And I have more)

It’s our new Book Club book for Quarter 2 of 2023.  We’ll be reading this together for the next three months.  I hope you’ll read along with me so we can have a great discussion about it.

Reading this book made me feel like I was reading what was already written in my brain.

It all felt familiar, and it aligns with what I teach here on the podcast and in my workshops and classes.

A high five is a shared celebration with someone.  You’re passing your feelings about them onto them.  You are seen by that person and affirmed. 

That feels pretty good. 

Recognized just for being you. 

NO words have to be said for this to be communicated.  Just the ACT of giving a high five says something on its own.

So, turn it back on yourself is the premise of this book.  She started giving herself a High 5 in the mirror first thing every morning and noticed a big difference. 

Started challenging others to do it, then went out and found tons of scientific research to back it up.

Actions actually do speak louder than words! 

Saying positive things to yourself are less likely to be believed than the way you will respond to giving yourself a high five.

No need to say anything.

In fact, she says not to do it to celebrate anything in particular.

Just High 5’ing yourself for being YOU.

Mel also said: “More than anything, you need to learn how to be kind to yourself.”

If you’re like me, that wasn’t an easy thing to do. 

For a long time, I didn’t believe anyone would want to give me any kind of praise.  I thought anything positive people said to me was all fake. 

Like they were pretending to like me. 

We mirror how we feel about ourselves onto other people.

I didn’t like myself so how could they possibly like me?

That’s why I love this idea of not having to say anything to yourself with the High 5, that you probably won’t believe anyway, and just giving a high five that you can’t argue with.

Just accept the feeling it gives you. 

This is a powerful way to learn to love yourself.

The way I first started to learn to love myself was by making and keeping commitments to myself. 

Showing up for ME like I would anyone that I cared about. 

Slowly, I noticed my self-esteem building.  I can see now how a high five to myself in the mirror every morning would feel so good.

Here’s another quote from the book:

“No one knows what it’s like to be in your shoes but YOU.  That’s why you must practice being kind to yourself and giving yourself the love, support, and celebration, you need.”

My husband and I are really good friends, but even after being married for 28 years, he doesn’t know exactly what I need in every situation. 

Whether I like to admit it or not, I am kinda complicated. 

There are so many factors that contribute to how I’m feeling.  I am the only one who knows ALL of those factors, even if some of them are subconscious (and that’s why my husband can’t figure them out).  When you realize this about yourself, it really does help you to stop expecting others to be able to give you what you need all the time.  That’s when your relationship with yourself becomes so important. 

You have to have your own back. 

You have to show compassion for yourself. 

You can be softer, kinder, harder, or whatever you need in the moment. 

You have to build this kind of relationship with yourself. 

It’s the most important work I’ve ever done for myself.

It’s what I call the Uniquee Connection.  Being the one that I can always count on… it’s changed everything.  I wouldn’t have believed that this was what I needed all along back in those dark days of my depression. 

But it is exactly what I needed. 

Now, I’m the one that shows up for me, even though I forget sometimes and expect others to read my mind and be there for me. 

Nope.  It’s me!

And when others do recognize what I need and show up with the love and help I need, it’s like a giant dollop of whip cream on top!

I’m excited to share this book with you today as our 2nd Quarter Book Club book for 2023.

It’s full of doable things that will help you work on one simple habit that will change so much for you.

It’s one step towards creating that Uniquee Connection I told you about.

The Uniquee Connection Method is introduced in my workshop, “Camp Connection” and then when you are ready to take the next step, I have my full course, “Uniquee Connection” that helps you dive in even deeper to make this connection with yourself. 

I will teach you a simple morning routine in Camp Connection that helps you begin your day with purpose. 

The best part is that I teach you the system but you fill in the how. 

This is all about your connection with you after all.  It’s not a cookie cutter routine that “One-size-fits-all”.

Like I keep saying, you are unique.  This routine is adaptable and unique for your needs.

 I just ask the questions and walk you through how to find what will help you the most. 

I will be your guide you as YOU become the hero of your own story. 

I am offering Camp Connection at $25 off right now and since I know how much it’s changed my life and so many others that have taken it from me, I want to challenge you to take it too.

Register by going to www.hunkeedori.com/camp and use the code 25OFF to get the $25 discount.  You can find the link in the shownotes too.

As you work your way through the 5-day workshop and then pair it with reading “The High 5 Habit” by Mel Robbins, you are going to feel different.

You are going to begin to see that you have a purpose and that you are supported by your number one fan….That’s YOU my friend!

Sending you so much love today.  And remember, I see you.  I know how hard you are trying, and I’d like to help however I can.

Have a wonderful week and I’ll SEE you back here again next week.


092: Share a High Five with Someone You Love Book Club Review