On my last episode I talked to you about how I like start my day.
I like to begin each day with the feeling that I can take on whatever comes my way.
These days start early for me but it’s totally worth it (usually. Some days are harder to get outta bed than others)
This is how I do self-care. I make sure that I give myself what I need so I can try to be there for who ever needs me.
In today’s episode, I’m going to talk about another daily practice in my self-care routine.
I call this one, Becoming my own best friend.
I’m going to give you a little heads up… YOU can be your own best friend!
Have you ever thought of that before?
YOU can be your own best friend!
You can become the one that you can count on no matter what happens.
That’s what a best friend is.
Who knows you better than YOU, and if you don’t know you, it’s about time you spent sometime reconnecting to YOU. YOU need to be able to help her out no matter what she’s going through.
Why am I referring to myself as a different person?
I think it’s because doing that actually helped me to realize that I could think of myself in a different way.
Wouldn’t it be fantastic if you could be the best friend that you wish you already had?
I don’t want you to think that this came easily for me.
This was anything but easy for me and it did not come in an instant.
I don’t think I’ve ever thought of myself as my own friend.
But I have begun trying to talk to myself just like I would my best friend and this has made a big difference.
I’d like you to think about when you first meet someone and how you talk to them.
First impressions are kind of important.
The things you say so that they’ll want to talk to you again….
You need to think about that when you’re talking to yourself.
Have you ever heard that it’s better to talk TO yourself than it is to listen to yourself ?
I think that is a really interesting concept because if you just listen, you’re gonna say what you’ve
If you’re gonna talk, you’re gonna start choosing the things that you say more carefully.
Have you ever paid attention to how you talk to yourself?
I didn’t either until I started doing this and it has made a huge difference
I started paying attention.
That’s ALWAYS the best place to start.
You can start making changes to practically anything in your life by just simply paying attention.
When I first started listening to what I was saying to myself, I noticed that I wasn’t being very nice.
Who wants to be friends with someone who isn’t very nice? If I was being 100% truthful, I was bullying myself.
Would you want to be friends with someone who beats you up for every mistake you make?
Would you want to be friends with someone who tells you that you’re stupid or clumsy or fat or lazy?
You wouldn’t want to be friends with that kind of a person.
You wouldn’t want to be friends with someone that jumps down your throat every time you do
something that’s not exactly right.
I was doing a lot of those things to myself.
I started asking myself the question, “Why do I put up with it?”
Why do we allow ourselves to talk to ourselves that way?
We wouldn’t allow someone to talk to us like that, at least I hope you wouldn’t.
I think that we’ve become so used to it, used to the way that we talk to ourselves, that it feels
I don’t think we even realize that we’re doing it and it become a very bad habit!
I’m here to tell you today that you need to stop it.
You need to stop it right now!
As someone who sees you as someone that has a lot to offer, I want to ask you to stop talking to my friend that way.
Stop talking to her in ways that make her feel bad about the amazing person that she is.
I want you to start talking to her in a way that makes her feel uplifted and special, BECAUSE SHE IS!
Why would it be important for you to take charge of this?
Can we even REALLY change the way we think?
I believe there is.
There’s a bunch of science behind this.
I don’t know a ton but here’s the way I understand it.
There are actual pathways in our brain that are called neuropathways.
These are formed like a trail.
If you think about a field with a lot of tall grass in it, and you start walking through the grass.
The more you walk down the exact same path, it becomes it’s easier to walk down. The grass starts to flatten down.
You would choose that path over making a new one.
That’s called a neuropathway.
We’ve been creating these pathways since we were very young.
Our parents and the other people that were close to us helped us to form these paths.
The people around us are the ones that help us to form those pathways and because it’s what we’ve always done, good or bad, it is what we continue to do if we don’t become aware of it.
Our subconscious mind just does what’s easiest.
As far as I understand this to work you cannot get rid of those pathways but you can make new ones.
You can choose to use the new ones more often than you use the old ones.
Again, we just have to become aware of what we’re doing.
I’ve said this a few times now and I’m going to say it again, it’s all about becoming aware. Everything starts that way.
We need to start paying attention to how we talk to ourselves and we begin by making a new decision.
I’ve got a question I’d like you to answer, I like this question a lot and I want you to take some time to think about how you will answer it:
“What is something that you want to believe about yourself?”
Make sure you choose something that doesn’t feel totally out of reach for you to believe about yourself, because our brains aren’t stupid, they just take the easiest, safest, most used, path.
Your brain is teachable so you can choose something that’s not impossible but something that you want to believe about yourself but just aren’t quite there yet.
I love that thought!
We can teach ourselves new things by repeating them over and over again.
These new things that we choose to tell ourselves are called affirmations.
Affirmations are things that you need to remind yourself to say over and over again so that it becomes a habit.
That’s how you begin forming a new pathway in your brain because you’ve chosen to say
it over and over again. Making a new trail. Get it???
Some of the ways that I remember to do this is that I write my affirmation that I’ve chosen, the thing that I want to believe about myself, and I write it on a sticky note and I put it where I’m gonna to see it a lot.
Another thing that I’ve started doing is I put reminders in my phone.
There’s an app on your phone called Reminders that you can type in your affirmation and schedule what time to send it. You can schedule it to send it every day! Cool right?
That has really helped.
It’s helped me to remember what I chose to think about myself.
This can be a very powerful thing and I know that it has made a huge difference for me and it can make a huge difference for you too if you stick with it.
That’s where the change comes.
None of these things happen easily and they don’t happen fast.
Well, they are actually easy.
None of this is hard… it’s just remembering to do it.
You just have to stick with it and form a new thought path.
They become a part of who you are and that’s what we want.
We want it to be something that’s normal and natural.
By practicing this every day, they’re there for us when we need them.
Begin by writing down at least one thing you want to begin believeing about yourself.
Write it where you will see it every day, at least once.
Then, start noticing what changes for you.
Give it some time.
You’re going to notice that you feel differently about yourself.
Today’s episode is a little taste of what I teach in my Camp Connection Program.
If this sounds like it’s right up your ally and you’d like to learn more, I’d like to invite you sign up for the entire program.
It’s a five day at home camp that you can attend in your sweatpants if you want to.
The next session starts as soon as tomorrow.
All you do is sign up at Hunkeedori.com or scroll down to the show notes below this episode and sign up there.
I will send you a daily video for 5 days where I teach you a simple practice for filling the potholes in life that create a smoother ride.
Each video is fifteen minutes or less.
I’ll give you a little homework assignment each day to help you put into practice what you learned. What’s the point if you don’t actually try it, right?
You’ll leave Camp Connection with a “First-Aid Kit” filled with supplies that you can pull from that help you to reconnect to YOU and prepare you to help those around you as well.
I hope you’ll join me in Camp Connection. It’s totally FREE and I’d love to connect with you there.
Enroll in Camp Connection:
4 Easy Steps to the Perfect TN: https://hunkeedori.com/4steps
TN1010 Workshop: https://hunkeedori.com/TN1010