Finding Peace with the past and Hope for the future is what I’d like to talk about today.
I’ve decided that helping people find hope through depression is what I am meant to be doing. While there are lots of applications for the principles I teach, depression is where I learned them.
Depression is a nasty beast.
It can get a hold of you and make you feel like there is no way out, that this is the way life is going to be forever and ever.
But I’m here to tell you that there is a way out.
There is hope for the future and you are just as deserving of feeling this hope as I am.
All of us can find our way through it, even if it comes back for a visit on a regular basis.
Medical help is there for you.
It’s the first step I would tell anyone that is in it deep enough that hope feels utterly impossible.
I understand how that feels because I have been there.
I want to be that voice you hear that motivates you to keep trying.
Get the medical help that you need and when that has done all that it can for you, I’m here to share with you what comes next.
You can LEARN how to feel hope.
Yes, even you.
There is more for you than just a dulling of the pain.
There is joy.
There is peace.
There is hope.
I am not a medical doctor.
I’m not a therapist.
I am a depression survivor and most of time, someone that thrives through depression too.
Now I am a coach that helps other women thrive through their depression too.
Today, I’d like to share a few thoughts that I’d like you to try on and see what help they can bring you.
Above all else, I’d like you to hear me.
Hear me telling you that THERE IS HOPE!
Even with depression, you can feel the enthusiasm and confidence that a glimmer of hope can bring.
Hope is not so much a state of mind as it is a habit of mind.
Habits can be formed.
Now, this doesn’t take away from the treatments you’re already doing with your medical Dr. Keep doing what’s working so far and be open to trying some additional things that will bring you even more relief as you make them habits too!
So here are three ideas of HOPE that when practiced, can become habits.
The First idea I’d like to share with you today is: You are not who you were.
You are who you are today BECAUSE of what you’ve experienced in the past.
Your experiences shaped you into who you need to be today.
You become who you are meant to become because of the experiences you’ve had.
These experiences make you stronger when you make the choice to allow them to shape you into something better.
It doesn’t make them any less hard, it just helps you to change how you view them.
It means going to a place where there are no lies about what happened or excuses for yourself. It means finding a peace with what you think were failures so you can make something beautiful from them instead and move forward in your life.
You can find the strength to make peace with your past. And then, put that peace with the past to work to make the future even better.
― Steve Maraboli said:
“Incredible change happens in your life when you decide to take control of what you do have power over instead of craving control over what you don’t.”
Sometimes we hold onto the past because certainty feels better than fear of what we don’t know.
We hold onto painful things of the past because at least it’s something we’re familiar with.
When we begin to hope for things we can’t see yet, it can feel scary, because it’s not certain.
But when we truly understand the feelings that come with hope, we can begin to choose those feelings of hope over certainty.
Why not choose to believe that good is ahead instead of choosing to think it’s something worse than the past.
There’s no way to know either way.
Choosing to believe that it can be good is just as possible as it is turning out bad. So why not!!!
― Ann Landers said,
“Some people believe holding on and hanging in there are signs of great strength. However, there are times when it takes much more strength to know when to let go and then do it.”
Here’s a Second idea I wanted to share with you today:
It started with a question.
What can we learn from trees in the winter letting go of their leaves?
There is power and purpose in every season of the year.
Winter is a time for trees and plants and grass to recharge and rest.
They are dormant on the surface and are conserving energy until mild weather returns.
It allows roots to continue to develop and thrive.
During the Spring, most of the plant’s energy goes into growth above the ground and roots take a back seat.
The warmer temperatures help thaw the soil and prepare the plant for regrowth.
Summer brings longer days and that means more light and that fuels growth and capacity for production.
Fall is a good time for those plants that don’t do their best in the heat of summer.
It’s also a time when certain chemicals stop producing and that results in less energy.
Plants start sending some of its food to the roots to prepare for winter. This helps to remove excess moisture from leaves which protects them from the freeze that’s coming.
If there is power and purpose for plants in every season, there must be power and purpose for us as well in our different seasons, whether they line up with the seasons of the earth or not.
There are even moods connected with seasons:
Winter can bring sadness/loneliness
Spring is associated with hope/renewal
Summer feels full of joy/exuberance
Autumn feels more melancholy/acceptance
Not all of those feel like emotions that we want to feel, but I think value can be found in each one, instead of trying to live in one season all the time.
We may find ourselves in different seasons of growth, but each one is important in its own way.
Because each season has a purpose, we can come to any season of life that we are experiencing with enthusiasm, confidence and HOPE!
My Third idea for today is the importance of controlling our thoughts and where they may take us:
When we let ruminating thoughts control our mind, they take away our energy and make feeling positive feel impossible.
Because our brains like to stay where it feels most familiar, we can get stuck in a negative pattern of thinking, even when it doesn’t feel good.
The fastest way out of ruminating, or spinning, thoughts is to journal.
If you’d like more help on how to journal, go back to episode 86 or 70 or schedule a 15-minute call with me and I’ll teach you the basics for FREE. Go to hunkeedori.com/minimentor to schedule that.
Journaling slows down how you are thinking, puts it out in front of you so you can really look at it and decide if that’s how or what you want to believe.
You then can show up for YOU and teach yourself a better way.
This helps you to untangle yourself from the past, get more into what is happening right now and then decide what you want to believe for the future.
These are habits of thought that YOU can create.
Will it happen all at once, no. Nothing of real and lasting importance happens all at once but it will start to happen as you make conscious choices to change.
George Bernard Shaw said, “Life isn’t about finding yourself. Life is about creating yourself.”
We all have an inner desire to create something that wasn’t there before. You are the creator of your thoughts and you get to decide if you believe what you think.
Hope is made up of your own agency to change things.
We all have moments of feeling hopeless in the life we have but we can choose to do something about it.
When you feel a lack of hope in your life, what is something you can do?
What is the cure for hopelessness?
Well my friend, I believe that it begins with CONNECTION!
Connection with self, with something higher than you, and with others, such as family & community.
Connection with Time, Life, & Self
There are 4 Basic Connection needs:
We all need to feel Loveable, Capable, Belonging, and Safe.
When you feel Loveable, it sounds like, I FEEL you.
When you feel Capable, it sounds like, I HEAR you.
When you feel Belonging it feels like, I’m WITH you.
When you feel Safe, you feel seen.
CAMP CONNECTION is the way I teach connection.
In camp connection I teach you to find your own direction every day but learning to give self-compassion and talk to yourself as you would your best friend
I also help you to learn to Look outside of yourself and decide how are you going to show up and to look back and assess how you did each day and how you can improve tomorrow.
I also teach you the importance of daily gratitude and the power that creates in your connection with everything in and around you.
Join me in Camp Connection if you haven’t already.
Go to hunkeedori.com/camp to register. It comes directly to your inbox and walks you through all of these principles and more through daily lessons.
I hope at least one of these ideas struck a cord with you today and will help you find hope through depression or whatever feels heavy in your life right now.
There is hope in every season of our lives and I want to help you find it for yourself!
Thanks for joining me here today and remember:
I see you. I understand how hard you’re trying, and I’d like to help however I can.
Have a wonderful day and I’ll see you back here next week.