I am a Christian.  I have a deep belief and love of Jesus Christ.  I want to honor Him in the way that I treat others and in everything that I do. It is my #1 priority to be a disciple of Jesus Christ.  This is the way that I choose to live my life.

I’m not sure if I have come right out and said this on this podcast before, but I hope that even if I haven’t said it as clearly as that in the past, I hope you have been able to tell in the way I speak that I am a Christian.

There are 10 Commandments Christians follow to help them live a good life.

In the Bible, the book of Matthew in Chapter 22 verses 37 through 39, Jesus was asked what the most important commandment was.  He answers that question by saying: “Thou shalt love the Lord thy God with all thy heart, and with all thy soul, and with all thy mind. “This is the first and great commandment. “And the second is like unto it, Thou shalt love thy neighbor as thyself”

Breaking that down:

1^st comes Love of God

Then Love of Self SO you can have…

Love for your Neighbor

Story of Melanie’s class

Years ago, probably 15 or more, a friend of mine was teaching a small group of people she knew as part of a project to help her get the degree she was working on.  I remember her saying in the class that you can’t really love people unless you loved yourself.

I’d never heard that before.

I was really bothered by this…like REALLY bothered!

I spoke up and admitted that I didn’t love myself, but I knew that I loved other people really deeply.  I put what other people needed before what I needed all the time, probably most of my life.  I felt offended that I was being told that I wasn’t really loving them.  I dug my heels in to defend my side of the argument.  I loved people and they knew that I loved them.

I’ll bet you can guess that this was around the same time that I was dealing with depression every single day.  It was a rough time but I also can look back and see all the parts that have contributed to me getting better.  So many moving parts.  I had so much to learn, and I still do.  But the interaction in that class was one of the pivotal moments in my process of healing.  I had to ask myself questions that I never had before.

It took a while, a long while, like years, but since that class, I have learned that I love others better when I love myself first.  That’s why I talk about it on the podcast all the time.

When I began to recognize MY infinite value, I began to see that same value in others.

I know HOW to love because I first loved me.

I know HOW it feels to be loved in such a large and deep way and that changed the way I loved others.

When I really think about it, I did know how to love others back then, but it was coming from a place of people pleasing.

I’ve learned that what fuels people pleasing is not a concern for those we do things for, it’s feeling concerned that we won’t get their approval.

Let me say that again… people pleasing does not come from a place of concern for them, it’s from being concerned that they don’t approve of you.

I was in desperate need for approval.

I needed approval from my SELF.

That kind of kicked me in the stomach when I realized that.

It wasn’t ALWAYS true, but there was a lot of truth in it, and I am ready to face that and begin the process of changing me, even more.

When we begin to care for ourselves, we begin to care about others in a different way. 

AND Caring fuels kindness. 

When I care about someone, I’m kinder to them. 

Can you see how this also ties into Self-compassion?

I did an entire series on Self-compassion on the podcast in 2023.  You can go back and listen to episodes 96-99 and then 101 to learn more about that.

When we care about ourselves, we are kinder and more compassionate in the way we speak to and about ourselves.

I know I’ve talked about how you talk to yourself on the podcast before but…

Have you ever listened to how you talk about yourself to others?

That’s a part of self-compassion too.

That’s why the scripture from the Bible really moved me to begin learning to love myself.

It’s NOT selfish. 

Loving myself creates a person that knows how to love others in a deeper and long-lasting way. 

I have so much more to give to others when I have been compassionate with myself. 

I always want to love people like that.  And I’ll bet you do too.

Thanks for joining me here today and remember:

I see you.  I understand how hard you’re trying, and I’d like to help however I can.

Have a wonderful day and I’ll see you back here again very soon.