Every human on the planet has seven basic needs that must be met in order to thrive.
Let’s talk about them!
Last week we talked about being a healthy AND a whole person.
This happens from the inside out, which isn’t where we normally start.
I shared with you that to be whole, our Heads, Hands, Hearts, and Hopes must be taken care of.
That’s where true health begins.
If you missed that episode, it’s a pretty important one, so go back and listen to episode 114 when you can.
Today, I want to expand on how you can connect with yourself by being a trusted companion for YOU before you can do that for others.
Last week I shared with you the seven basic needs of every human being.
To thrive as a human, these needs must be met.
When I first started on my road back from depression, I didn’t know that in order to help others meet these needs, I had to make sure I had first met them for myself.
And here’s the kicker…. I could do it for myself.
I didn’t have to wait for someone else to fulfill these needs for me.
How can I help others with these needs if I hadn’t developed them?
Interesting thing to think about, isn’t it?
Let’s talk about each of the Seven Basic Needs.
These are so fun to look at from the perspective of how we can provide them for ourselves.
Do you feel safe emotionally?
Are you able to independently lift your emotional state, without needing outside help?
Now, don’t get me wrong, we need others AND, we must be independent enough to be able to do it for ourselves too.
If you aren’t safe within yourself, it isn’t possible to create a safe relationship with others.
Do you watch out for yourself and what you need?
Are you truly yourself without feeling ashamed?
These questions will help you to recognize if you feel safe.
Do you trust YOU? Do you do what you’re going to say you’re going to do?
Have you ever even considered that when you fail to follow through with what you promised yourself you would do, you are weakening the trust you have with yourself?
That’s kind of a big deal!
Would you have a relationship with someone you didn’t trust?
If you have one of those, you know it’s not a great relationship.
Trust is a basic need.
You have to be able to trust yourself.
I’ve taught this principle a few times on the podcast but it’s worth repeating.
Making and keeping commitments to yourself creates self-esteem.
I saw it happen within myself and I wasn’t even expecting that self-esteem would be the result.
Now I know that it comes from one of the basic needs as a human.
You must develop trust with yourself.
When you feel appreciated, you feel known and understood.
You feel seen for who you are.
In Episode #102 I talk about Love Languages.
Gary Chapman has written a book about the 5 Love Languages, and I encouraged you to find out your love language so you could show yourself love in the way you want it most.
If you haven’t done that, here’s another reminder to do so.
Go back and listen to episode 102 to get some help with that.
You’ll find that you can show yourself appreciation when you love yourself in your preferred way.
How you speak to yourself really matters.
Have you ever taught a child what it means to show someone else respect?
Turn that around on yourself.
Choose the words you say to yourself carefully.
Make sure they are spoken in a way that doesn’t have sarcasm or underhanded put-downs.
Take some time to pay attention to how your inner voice is speaking to you.
Do you feel respected when you have a conversation with yourself?
If not, it’s time to make some changes.
Respect for yourself honors your potential.
Are you able to give praise to yourself?
How often do you tell yourself, “Good Job”?
Or, do you wait for someone else to tell you that you’ve done a good job before you feel good about something you’ve done?
Validation is a principle of communication.
You give yourself a voice.
You are allowed to have an opinion, while still allowing others to have their own opinion.
Do you see yourself as a person who is deserving of praise?
Who can give it better than YOU?
You know how hard it was for you to do something, you know the whole picture.
You know the words that speak clearly to what you’re dealing with because you speak your own language.
It’s nice to know that you get to be there for yourself, cheering yourself on when you need extra help, and there is no wait time to hear exactly what you need to hear to keep yourself going.
We all need encouragement. You never have to wait when you are your own biggest fan!
How dedicated are you to getting accomplished what you want to have done?
Show up for yourself 100% of the time.
If you are truly dedicated, there is no need for shaming yourself.
You know you will always be there. You will be there moving forward on whatever you decide you’re going to do.
When you are dedicated, you are committed to your purpose.
Dedication for yourself does not invalidate others. You can be committed to those we love AND be dedicated to ourselves at the same time.
If you take the first letter of each of the Seven Basic Needs, you get the word STARVED. We can starve ourselves emotionally when we haven’t met these basic needs. And as I learned from my teacher, Dr. Matt Townsend, “Starved people, starve people.”
If you want to improve any relationship, begin by improving your relationship with yourself.
Don’t allow yourself to starve! And then you can help feed the people you love most!!
That’s why you can only improve relationships outside of yourself when you begin from within.
If you’d like more one-on-one help with faster results, I would love to be your Relationship coach. I’ve reserved a few spots in my schedule every week to talk to women, just like you, who feel like it’s time that they created a stronger relationship with themselves. Women who feel stuck and are tired of doing the same things over and over that aren’t giving them the growth and success that they desperately want.
I’ve been there. My depression took a lot of years out of my life that I can’t get back. But I’m not sorry that I experienced it. Because I started the very things I’ve shared with you today, LIVING, LEARNING and CHANGING, I began to develop CHARACTER, COMMUNICATION, CONNECTION AND COMMITMENT to CHANGE. Now, when the hard times hit, which they still do, I have a foundation of proven principles that help me to get up and back into my life a lot faster. I would be honored to be your coach and teach you these principles too.
Register at Hunkeedori.com/consult for your complementary call with me where we will create a plan for you so you can get started right away.
Thanks for joining me here today and remember:
I see you. I understand how hard you’re trying, and I’d like to help however I can.
Have a wonderful day and I’ll see you back here next week.
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