Sometimes I feel “icky” when I hear someone start talking about self-care.  It makes me feel like I’m plotting something selfish for myself.  What do you think about when you hear it?

Maybe a little backstory would be good here.

I come from a family with parents who believed if you weren’t doing something productive, you weren’t doing what you were supposed to. 

Work=something productive. 

When I was growing up, I never sat down and watched a TV show with my parents. 

If my mom watched TV, it was only while she was ironing. 

I remember my dad coming home from work and cutting the plug off the television set because we were laying on the couch watching it.

Has my view of “down-time” been skewed just a bit from my childhood? 

Obviously yes. 

Luckily for me, and after years of not seeing eye to eye, my husband and I, who was raised completely opposite, have worked through a lot of that. 

Do I still feel guilty sometimes when I’m not being productive?  Yes.  But it is so much better now.

My point in all of this is to say, that through years of self-therapy I have found a better way to think about self-care. 

I now define self-care as taking care of basic needs, and some wants, for the purpose of strengthening myself to be able to help others.

Women Desire to Nurture

We can’t forget that one of the biggest characteristics of most women is the desire to nurture.  We have this innate desire to care for those around us. 

And because we’re  living in a culture of always trying to do more, that has gotten out of balance for a very high percentage of us. 

That’s where an understanding of self-care is important.

I am not saying that we need to spend “X” amount of time taking care of others before we “deserve” to do something for ourselves.  That is where you have to use some common sense.  Not only that, you have to begin to think on a different level. 

You are not “entitled” to self-care.


You don’t have to earn it. 


You need to care for yourself just as you would anyone else. 

You need to care for yourself in exactly the same way you would your best friend or your child. 

Look Within 

What do you need? 

Do you need to slow down?  Do it. 

Do you need to get out more?  Do it. 

Do you need to talk to someone?  Find a way to do that.

Do you see what I mean? 

You’ve got to learn to listen to yourself.  Stop and listen. 

If your best friend was upset, or anxious or sad, you’d take time to help.  Do that for you.

What I love about this is that when you really do it, you are more ready to be there for those you love.

Isn’t that the point?

What Do You Need Today?

So, what are you going to do for you today?  What can you do for you to show that you are listening?  Then, make it a priority and do it. 

I’m proud of you.  It’s not an easy switch but it is so important.

I’ve got a little mini-camp where I’m teaching simple practices like this.  It’s called “Camp Connection” and I’m super excited to share it with you.  I’d love for you sign-up for it.  It’s simple.  Sign up by going HERE! 

Then, when camp starts on January 27th, 2021, you’ll get a daily video from me that walks you through simple, daily practices that help you to reconnect to YOU. 

Yes, it’s totally free. 

You’ll walk away with a First-Aid kit full of supplies that will help you think in healthy, happier, and more empowering ways.

I hope you’ll join me.  It’s going to be tons of fun.

Learn more about Camp Connection HERE

.039 Is Self-Care Icky?