All of us battle unseen fears that hold us back. And what makes them even scarier, or hold us tighter in their grip, is when we don’t acknowledge them.
What Are You Afraid of?
Duh! They’re hairy and unpredictable.
Slimy. Ain’t nobody who wants to touch that! Ok, I do know people who do, but I will never, ever understand that.
That one feels out of my control. I continue to try going to high places, even Ferris wheels, Zip Lining and Repelling and it just doesn’t go away. Shaky knees, knotted stomach.
Those are three of mine.
Have you thought about what scares you???
Those three may be physical things that are easy to explain, but I have plenty more.
I don’t think you necessarily share in the silent battles I face, pretty much every day. But I don’t really mind sharing them.
I’m not ashamed.
Why? Because I think all of us battle unseen fears that hold us back. And what makes them even scarier, or hold us tighter in their grip, is when we don’t acknowledge them.
Sometimes just saying your fear out loud makes them hold a little less tightly.
Does it matter if you say it out loud to someone else, or just to yourself? I don’t think so.
I even write mine down when I journal. That’s putting it out there for my eyes only.
· I’m afraid of being too silly in front of people and they’ll lose respect for me.
· I’m afraid if I share my opinion I may lose friends.
· I’m afraid if I go for one of my dream, people will think I’m conceited.
· I’m afraid that people will see where I’m weak.
If I was writing in my journal, and those of you who follow me regularly know that journaling is a big part of how I work through things, the conversation in my journal may go something like this:
If I’m truly myself, and my silliness comes out, those who already love and respect me aren’t going to change just because I act crazy now and again. They’ll already know that that’s a part of who I am. I only want people who know the real me. Besides, as I’ve heard from many people, “Other people’s opinion of me are none of my business.”
My opinions are just that, opinions. I enjoy spending time with people who may have different opinions than mine and know how to have a discussion about them without it being a friendship breaker. I want friends like that. I am worthy of attracting friends that challenge me and validate me at the same time. I’m not going to worry about that. I’m going to be me!!
My dreams are very dear to me. I spend a lot of time thinking and praying about them and working towards them. The way other people react to them really have nothing to do with me. If I feel compelled to do something, I believe that it’s my “sign” that it’s what I’m supposed to do. I am not going to hold back just to make other people more comfortable. I’m also not a beast. I care very much about other people’s feelings. I will still be aware of how I share. I will be respectful of other’s opinions, just like I want them to be of mine.
It’s taken a long time for me to learn this, but a weakness is just an opportunity for growth. The more I share my weaknesses with others, the more I realize that I’m not alone. EVERYONE has weaknesses. There’s a lot of people who are a master of hiding them, but that doesn’t make it not true. The more I share, the less hold that weakness has over me. The more I share, the less it feels scary to share.
Those are some of my journaling examples.
In truth, these would be a lot longer and more specific in my own journal.
Heck, I’m not going to put “everything” out there for you guys to hear!
So I’m going to ask the question again.
What things scare you?
Take the time to sit down and share those fears with yourself. Or, talk with someone that you have a connection with. Someone who will listen and validate you as you share.
It’s so good to get it out! I promise, you will feel less and less afraid the more you acknowledge your fears. Except maybe for Ferris wheels!! Those things are terrifying!
Maybe if you took a good hard look at something that scares you, maybe it’s not as scary as you thought it was.
This thought always reminds of one of the most vivid memories I have of my oldest son when he was in Kindergarten. It was the only year that he rode the bus when he was in elementary school.
One day I was a little late getting over to the bus stop to pick him up.
He’d walked that route many times so I knew that I would just meet him along the way.
This time, as I got closer to the place we always met, I saw him running towards me. Red and black puffy coat. Blonde hair standing up in the ski slope style he still wears today.
He had a terrified look on his face and he was running faster than I’d ever seen him run.
I glanced over his shoulder to see why he was running and saw….
Our neighbors dog.
He had the most playful look in his eyes as he was chasing my little boy.
But my son didn’t know that.
He was terrified of dogs and wasn’t about to look over his shoulder to see how the dog was feeling.
I felt like laughing and crying at the same time. Still pulls up both emotions for me.
I felt so terrible for how scared he was. I couldn’t help laughing at the fact that he was running from a dog that just wanted to play with him.
What are we running from that isn’t that scary?
What have we built up in our minds as something we are terrified of when in reality, it’s not out to hurt us?
I went to Costa Rica last year and had a similar experience with this.
Have you ever seen a Tarzan Swing? I’ll post one on Instagram or Facebook.
I had the opportunity to do one after I got done repelling.
I’ve already told you I’m afraid of heights.
I just couldn’t do it and felt that I’d be more sorry if I DID do it.
So, I gracefully bowed out of the opportunity.
Here’s the truth.
I kinda regret not saying yes to doing it.
I know it’s not going to kill me.
What if it would have actually ended up being fun?
Or maybe I could say that I had done it!
Maybe it’s not as scary as I’ve imagined it to be.
I get to go back to Costa Rica next week.
I got offered another opportunity to go and bring my husband this time.
I just can’t say no because that was the part that I wished during the trip, sharing it with him.
So, we’re going!
We’re doing some of the same things and some new adventures.
We’re going back to where the Tarzan swing is and this time I’ve decided to say Yes.
I’m going to do it.
I’m getting cold and fuzzy limbs just saying this to you so I’m going to need some positive thoughts sent my way.
I’m saying it out loud because I need you to help hold me accountable to follow through.
I don’t want to come home with regrets this time.
I don’t want to live my life that way in any thing.
What about you?
What’s something that scares you that you haven’t allowed yourself to try?
Maybe it’s something like playing the piano in front of someone else.
Maybe it’s trying a new job?
Whatever it is… give yourself the new belief that perhaps it’s not as scary as you’ve built it up to be.
Start replacing your old thought with I Can…. Whatever it is. Say it over and over to yourself until your brain starts to believe it.
I CAN DO THE TARZAN SWING.
I CAN DO THE TARZAN SWING!!
If you need an accountability partner…I’m totally here for you.
Let me know what you’re going to try and I’ll follow up with you!
Let’s Poke that snake in the eye my friend!!